3-minute read
Man, you wouldn’t believe this date I went on the other night.
Tell me more. What was her name?
I’ll do you one better. I’ll send you her dating profile. This should at least be a good place to start.
Ahh the single life. Where’d you guys go?
I suggested this bar on Capitol Hill, but she said, verbatim, “I hate it there.” So, she dragged me to this empty bar in Arlington. I get the vibe she’s not really into the DC social scene.
So what’s her deal? She one of those 3 million consultants you’ve dated in town?
I’m still not entirely sure what she does. She definitely spends most of her 9:00-5:00 in the District, but hard for me to pinpoint what her actual job is.
So what’d you talk about?
That’s the thing! All she did was drone on about work…
And, what, you just pulled a Harry Dunne for 2 hours?
Well I do know her boss harps on her about a couple of things: maximizing employment and stabilizing prices. It’s her boss’s “dual mandate” she kept on saying.
How’s that going for her now?
Judging by my bar tab, not very good.
She get into any specifics?
I guess Covid really threw a wrench into her day-to-day.
How unique…
I know, right?! She was running her mouth about supply chain issues and gasoline prices.
I hope you didn’t break the news on the Sriracha shortage…
Could’ve used some Sriracha to squirt in my eyeballs.
Is there any light at the end of the tunnel for her? Is she at least trying to make it better?
She can raise interest rates which I guess helps with the price stabilization piece of this. But she can’t raise them too fast or too significantly without entirely throwing a wrench into the equation.
Sounds easy enough.
I know, right? She also mentioned something about shrinking her balance sheet.
Huh?
I guess her former bosses believed in a method called, “quantitative easing.” Seemed complicated but it involves reducing interest rates and buying bonds to drive more economic activity. Now she claims she’s forced to reverse that.
How exactly do you do that?
Through raising interest rates and reducing the money supply in the economy.
And if she successfully reverses those moves, she will be hailed as a queen at the office?
That’ll help to an extent but some of the events around Covid and corresponding policies complicate matters.
Sounds like she could use some help.
She mentioned a guy who was in her role in the mid-1990s. He was dealing with some similar challenges as far as rising interest rates and stock market volatility.
Wait, she has her hands in the stock market too?!
I don’t know, man, it’s complicated. Anyways, I told her to just do what that guy did and call it a day.
How was that received?
It corresponded well with her fourth margarita as she went on about how times are a bit different now (i.e., 2022 inflation > 1994 inflation).
It appears she’s in a tough position.
It’s possible things end up okay but, yes, I don’t envy her job. She’s tasked with cooling off the economy but juuuust to the right degree. I’m honestly curious to see what happens.
Sounds like a second date is in order…
We’ll have to see if she has it in her.